Saturday, November 13, 2010
Crazy be Youz
Boy + GIRL friends = just friends
Boy + crazy BITCH from hell = FUN for everyone
Now I'm pretty insecure and possessive myself but here's why I'm not crazy:
1. the guy's my boyfriend
2. somebody is actually flirting with him to piss me off
3. the guy knows I exist.
If you miss out on number 3, there is definitely something wrong with you. In the words of my new found comedic hero, Russell Brand (a.k.a., Katy Perry's not so attractive boyfriend), "You...are essentially....an oxygen thief".
There's nothing wrong with having the hots for someone. There's nothing wrong with hating all the girls around him. There's nothing wrong with screaming his name just so he'll notice you. There's nothing wrong with deliberately hanging out with his org even though you're not a part of it. There's nothing wrong with posting silly messages on his Facebook wall just so people would think you guys have a thing but you really really don't. There's nothing wrong with him lending his stuff to somebody else and youtaking it from that someone just so he'll get it back from you. And there's definitely nothing wrong with glaring at all his girl friends (including those he isn't even close to but you've convinced yourself otherwise) and calling thembitches to their faces with this pathetic whispering act (Hint: they can hear you).
So woman, I humbly shower you with all my sarcasm. I know you'll eventually figure out who you are and I'm betting you'll throw acid to my face when you find out where I live. I'd prefer that, honestly. 'Coz if for one second you couldn't tell that this was you, wow.... you iz seriously onecraaazy bitch.
The Teen Dream
I don’t want to be offensive. I don’t want to be mean. I don’t want to be judgmental. I just am. Sorry.
The first time I heard about a friend who got pregnant at 14, I gasped (mind you, I was 15). The second time I heard about it, I still gasped (I was 17). The third time I heard about it, I laughed my heart out (I was 20).
Apparently almost everyone I know got pregnant.
What is it with teens and unprotected sex? A 15 year old teen mother about using condoms once said, “excuse me, parang sinasabi mong kumain ako ng saging na may balat (excuse me, it’s like you’re telling me to eat a banana with its skin on)”. Oh Ok. Now I get it.
But in all fairness, it does take a certain amount of slutiness to pull off the whole diploma before diapers thing. So I guess all you preggies are in the clear? *big BIG smirk*
The funniest thing I’ve ever heard though was that people actually thought I was, am or is going to be pregnant in the very near future. Hmm….
Yeah no, don’t think it really suits me.
Cheers!
Maybe I should bring a CROSS. Just so you'll stay the fuck away from me
Ugh, I am so sick of people preaching to me about Jesus. I love the guy. Okay?
I don’t light random people on fire.
Jeez. Just because I can stop myself from pestering other people doesn’t mean I love Him any less.
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